This week, the skies are relatively calm, giving us plenty of time to wade through Mercury’s recent station direct as it approaches and passes Neptune one last time. True to the still watery-nature of the planetary movements, the Four of Cups asks us to be with the discomfort of witnessing ourselves in ways we don’t like. The patterns we play out, whether conditioned or inherent, are not always fun to watch. When we wake up to the unsupportive quality of our reactions, we often respond to said reaction with more defensiveness. We look for someone to blame, some reason that we are this way. Or we choose blindness over the discomfort of our truth. Especially when the discomfort comes from truths that align with groups or someone we love - choosing truth can mean choosing to be alone. But when we refuse to take inventory of our part in a situation, we are acting with false integrity. Dis-associative numbness is familiar and therefore seemingly easier in the moment than the task of moving through.

When we are angry with ourselves, we rarely observe that underneath anger is a secondary emotion - often that of hurt. Being in an abusive relationship to oneself can spiral quickly into a vicious cycle. We see where we self-abandoned and jump to self-beratement, feeding the abuse until we’re stuck like a rusty nail that nobody wants to touch. In the confusion and ache of seeing our child in a state of tantrum, we are shocked, irritated, at a loss for what to do.

This week, practice seeing your child mid-scream-fest. Practice your stamina. Stay with her. Nourish her with a bowl of your patience. Do not attempt to offer solutions when she is not in a state of being able to hear them. The Four of Cups implies the pressure to change our “bad” behavior into good in less time than is realistic. Know that kind and loving eyes might be the best we can give to anyone in that state. Wait it out. The Four of Cups, like all fours, is a card that has balance but is stuck. Like a square with four sides - a solid container with no way out. With any four, we have to wait for another element to disrupt our rigidity.

In this, the Four of Cups draws attention also to our fixed conditioning - the binary of good and bad that has been built into our psyches. It reminds that asking “What would make me a good person?” reinforces the idea that our humanity is conditional to its quality. Instead try inquiring, “what would feel good right now?” Or if you can’t get that far, “what doesn’t feel good?” “What do I need to say no to?”

“Your no makes way for your yes.”* When you’ve got the critical part down, you have to work on the self love part. The Four of Cups is an invitation to witness what isn’t working. To follow the critical mind with tangible manifestations. To stop banging your head against a wall because killing your brain-cells isn’t helping anyone. It also asks for the pause post-no. It demands the space that allows for a yes to arrive. For pleasure to be genuine because it isn’t forced into a timeline or tied up neatly in a packaged box. The Four of Cups wonders if you can love yourself enough in your messiest, dirtiest, ugliest moments and note how alive you are in that place. Being with yourself at your best is easy. This week, practice in the plain and painful moments.

*Adrienne Maree Brown

WHAT EVEN IS A TAROTSCOPE? We often think of horoscopes as predictions that are specific to each astrological sign. In Ancient Greek, the term horoscope simply means "I watch the hour." To astrologers today, a horoscope is a chart that maps the planetary bodies in the sky. From this chart, we derive meaning that can influence how we work with energy. Regardless of our unique individual charts, we are ALL working with the same energy from above. Each week, I examine this energy, pull a tarot card and write a guided meditation with the collective in mind. My tarotscopes are meant to be read as inspiration. Please note that because we are all operating with our individual energy, some elements will resonate more than others. Take what you like and leave the rest. Tarotscopes are offered freely in an effort to cultivate collective healing. I am always grateful for your support in sharing this work with anyone you think it might help. If you are inspired or find support here, please consider making a donation to help sustain these weekly offerings.